Vertigo

I am still

Ugly duckling
Searching for true kin
With blood relatives
I do not fit

Never did
Never will.

My feathers ruffled
Plucked from wings
Born to soar across
Vast fertile land
Bluest oceans
Dipped in wet ecstasy

Sing my enchanted song

Following early dreams
Of sky trails towards
Distant warm land.
In the gutter found
Hatched from voodoo
Cracked poisonous egg

Smeared with menstrual blood
Yolk tipped choking throat
Gutted flesh torn aching
Distorted beauty

Staring out to stars
I wish to be released

Drawn to mirror of self
I have loved and lost
Nothing of original self
Except the will to go on.

In the briefest moments
Of lone happiness
I remember my worth.
_______________________________________________________

Static

I seek

Something beyond
These static thoughts
Weaving in
And out ( conscious)

Towards a desolate
Piece of meaningful
Human interaction
Where touch sacred
As nothing before.

Weight heavy fatigue
Love hangs slaughtered
Dripping disillusioned
Mad cow beef
Slit from throat to gut.

Outwardly cynical
Laughing absurd
In late night bars
Before retreating again
Light and breezy

Child like wide eyed wonder
Daisy chained dreams
Sun goddess wading through
Corn fields of bliss.
__________________________________________________________

Love lost

Amongst bohemian streets
Inside bazaar like shops
Where magical remnants
Of my youth remains.

Songs of remembrance
In Womad ambience
chimes sing of myths
On north African shores

Wind chimes solace
Inhaling deeply jasmine
Incense burning scorched
Yearning for a girl
I lost some time ago.

Finding rainbow coloured
Garments in ethnic wear
Comforting clink of bangles

My heart beat pierced
Weeping skin on drum
Shattered back down
To earth.

I stumble across cobbled
Streets paved with my
Scouse dreams escaped

Breathing new life
Lifting self for vitamin D
Colour to ghost like face.

Watching big issue sellers
Smack head drawn gutted
Shadows cry

‘Any spare change’

‘Any spare love’
I whisper to self

Wanting
Venus as a boy

Just a loyal hand
And a kiss that will set me free.
________________________________________________________

Be free

In conditioned existence
My heart lies heavy
Stepping through the
Aftermath of mistakes

My beauty and youth
In shreds; carving up
new beginnings
that may bare fruit.

I find its so hard
To be a woman
Lone parent
Her dreams torn
Yet as fresh as the day

She swung high
Hair lifted in wind
Legs long stalks
With many paths
To choose.

We chant
Om

Our mantra
Illuminated light filling
Up lungs

Inhale deeply
Exhale deeply

In breathing I am focused.

My body a vessel of love

The sun is now my friend
The trees my allies

More beauty is found
In the touch of my
Daughters long tresses
Watching her write poetry

Capture the riverfront
With eyes yet to blink
The innocence away.

In the magic of reiki
Energy pours through me
A hummingbird lifts
My weightless body
Upon its back

And we fly over
Fresh water streams
Sun illuminates us
Moon has led me here
Through each dark night

It whispered

‘Maria be free’